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bryan: I'd rather be whipped
by my own intestines than listen to Steely Dan...
Joel Jensen: Steely Dan??? How dare you ask
a question like that? Neither threat nor menace, but
respected elder statesmen. They're named after a dildo
in a Burroughs novel, for Chrissakes! That's classy!
Okay, in all seriousness, I like Steely Dan, and I realize
that when someone likes Steely Dan, youth has really passed
them by. Alas. I'll be shuffling off this mortal
coil any day now... "are you reeling in the years?"
Mark Kalar: Needless to say, I vote MENACE!:
In the late 1960s, Chevy Chase played drums in a band at
Bard College featuring Walter Becker and Donald Fagen. At
roughly the same time, Seymour Cray was doing research with
super computers at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory
in California. An early version of his CDC 7600 predicted
the statistical probability of Chevy Chase going on to make
the movie Caddyshack if he was to continue to play
in this band. The future looked grim. They did what they had
to do (at least that's what they would say later). Becker
and Fagen were replaced by robots, and their bodies unceremoniously
dumped in the Hudson River. The CDC 7600 invented smooth jazz,
easy listening, and soft rock, and used this musical data
to fill the memory banks of the new and “improved”
Becker and Fagen. It didn't take long for Chase to tire of
his newly robotocized band mates, and abandoned them to pursue
a career in film. The two robots were put aside, in hopes
they could be of use again someday in the future. Unfortunately,
when the 7600 was unplugged, replaced with the vastly superior
CDC STAR-100, no one could predict the effects on the positronic
matrices that were the brains of Becker and Fagen. They went
crazy with anger and fear, vowing to destroy the world with
their unique blend of smooth, jazzy rock. There are those
of us who have dedicated our lives to defending the human
race from these two robotic monsters. It's not easy. Do not
underestimate their power. Once a listener has succumbed to
the subliminal messages in their music, they, too, are replaced
with machines. We were making progress, but then came Two
Against Nature... alas, the entire National Academy of
Recording Arts and Sciences has clearly been lost...
(Unfortunately, the CDC 7600 was unable to predict the likelihood
of Chevy Chase going on to make The Chevy Chase Show.
If it had, we all may have been spared).
Stephen McClurg: A menace with a badass rhythm section.
Keith Pille: The first sort-of-real show I ever played
in my first sort-of-real band was a in a basement in Blair,
Nebraska, at a party being put on by a guy who fancied himself
as Dana College's resident poet-warrior (IE, he played fullback
for the Dana Vikings and wrote a lot of songs that attempted
to emulate "Soul to Squeeze"-era Anthony Kiedis).
The party crowd was a normal mix of Blair townies and Dana
students, except for this one guy. He was wearing all brown—brown
pants, brown sweater, brown leather jacket, brown indoor sunglasses,
brown beret—had an unfortunate goatee, and walked around
with a (brown) flower held up directly in front of his lips.
Our drummer, Dale, was one of the nicest, most understanding
people I know, and he spent the entire night wanting to beat
Mr. Brown's ass just on general aesthetic principles.
I am 99% sure that Mr. Brown went home from that party and
listened to some Steely Dan.
Don Pizarro: What did Twain say about a classic? A
book which people praise but don't read. I think Steely
Dan is like that. Oh, I'm familiar with a bunch of great
musicians who've played with Steely Dan: Michael McDonald
& Jeff Porcaro, Jay Graydon, Phil Woods, Larry Carlton,
etc., but I don't even know who the two founding members were,
to tell you the truth. I know and love "Reelin' in the
Years" and "Rikki Don't Lose That Number,"
but couldn't tell you what albums they were on, or name any
album other than Aja, if my life depended on it. So,
no, I don't think I have an opinion, either way... Oh,
sue me!
Simon Riordan: I'm far too busy mainlining heroin
while listening to Steely Dan to think about threatening or
menacing things. Steely Dan is eye-closing music that
needs to remain on the "Lite" FM dial. Conclusion:
threat.
Jonathan Shipley: They don't hold a candle to Boz
Scaggs.
Amethyst Vineyard: Steely Dan? What's a Steely Dan?
I know nothing of this thing of which you speak.
Clint Weathers: Steely Dan teaches you two of life's
most important lessons:
1) The second guitar break in "Green Earrings"
uses flange, chorus, just a touch of slapback delay, and really
needs to be played on a strat with a humbucker in the neck
otherwise you just won't get the right tone.
2) Never ever let Michael McDonald sing backup vocals. Ever.
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