1. Isn't it awfully presumptuous to call it "the Genius Bar?" I don't hand genius titles out lightly. With a name like that, I expect Isaac Newton (or at least Isaac Hayes) to be working at the Apple Store, squeezing his hands and waiting to help me with my busted iPod.

2. And following #1, if you're going to refer to your help desk as a Genius Bar, you should make damned sure that your Genii know their stuff. At a recent Genius Bar session, I overheard the guy sitting next to me get information that was patently false (his Genius told him that iTunes would not let you import songs that had been ripped through Windows Media-- this is horseshit, and is actually how I usually beat the iTunes DRM when I'm burning big numbers of mix CDs). Maybe the guy was a genius, but at something other than computer support; maybe he can grow corn really well, or is a whiz at repairing wheels.

3. The Genius Bar reservation system could use an overhaul, too. In each of two trips to get an iPod fixed, I've ended up waiting half an hour past my scheduled appointment. The old Seinfeld bit about the difference between taking a reservation and keeping one comes to mind.

4. On the other hand, at least I got lucky before my first visit and stumbled online across the information that you need an appointment. A friend of mine (and I have every reason to believe that his experience was typical) hadn't heard this, and wound up standing around the Apple Store forever before an employee saw the steam coming out of his ears and said that he'd need to go online to set up an appointment before anyone standing five feet away at the Bar would talk to him.

5. And by the way, am I wrong in thinking that, after ten minutes, the antiseptic, harshly white, advertising-drenched décor of an Apple Store starts to look an awful lot like the standard depiction of a dystopian future?

6. And, given that they have to know that customers will be waiting for a while (they're Genii, after all), would it kill the Apple Store to put in some seating? At least I remembered to bring a book the second time; reading about Jack the Ripper did a lot to distract me from the fact that I was spending half an hour standing in a dystopian future.