3.27.06
Volume 2, Issue 9
I STILL WANT TO BELIEVE.
The Reject
UFO Magazine
By Jonathan Shipley
In our newest ongoing series, punishment-glutton Jonathan Shipley chronicles his attempts to be rejected by America's finest publications.
Dear Editor [redacted],
It's taken me a long time to write this. I've been afraid to let the people I know personally, the public at large, about the occurrence. I don't know what else to call my experience with the space craft other than that - an occurrence. I was afraid simply because I didn't want my friends and family to think I was crazy. I'm not crazy. I know what happened. I know what I saw. I'm not crazy. Perhaps relating my story to the faithful readers of UFO Magazine will help in some way. I'm not crazy. That is what I'm hoping for anyway.
Attached you'll find a story I've written for UFO Magazine.
Thank you for your time and efforts and have a great day.
Sincerely (and perfectly not crazy),
Jonathan Shipley
UFO MAGAZINE SUBMISSION
By Jonathan Shipley
Date: 8/10/03. Time: 2:34 a.m. Place: Renton, Washington. Description of Events:
There I was, the night manager at the IHOP. The employees had all gone home. I was locking up and was walking to my Chevy Chevette in the empty parking lot when I looked up and saw, hovering right over the IHOP, a craft. I can’t describe it really but what I can say is this in way of description - It was oval-shaped. It was a dark colored metal. Perhaps it was dark colored simply because it was night time and everything was dark colored by the oval-shaped craft was particularly dark colored. A sound emanated from it. It sounded like: WAAAHHHGGGGG! That’s as close as I can spell it. Well, maybe WHHHHAAAGGNNNGG! It was deafening, the sound, and I clapped my ears over my head and looked at the craft and shouted “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”
Suddenly, without warning, a bright flash of light screamed out of the craft. It made a sound. ZZZZAANNGGG! Or, more closely, ZZZAAANNNGGGGHHH! The light, the brightest white I’ve ever seen, blinded me, so, more exactly, it was the brightest light I couldn’t see because it blinded me so much. “ARRGGGHHH!” I said, because I was blinded and the light hurt my eyes. “AAARRGGHHH!”
ZZZAANNNGGGHHHH! Another flash of light.
WHHHAAANNNGGGGHH! Another sound emanated from the craft.
ZZZAANNNGGHHHH! Another flash.
”AARRGGHHH!” I screamed.
WHHAAANNNGGGHHH!
ZZZZAAAANNGGGHHH!
”AAARRRGGGHHH!”
ZZZAAANNGGGHHH!!!
WHAANNZZZGGGHHH!
ZAANNNGGGHHHH!
It all happened so fast! When I came to I found myself lying in the parking lot holding a parrot. I don’t own a parrot and didn’t know where it came from. It eyed me and said “WHHAANNNGGGHHH!” And it scared me. “WHAANNGGGGHH!” It scared me so much, hearing that bird say that, I wet myself.
Nancy [redacted] ([redacted]@ufomag.com) wrote:
Thanks, Jonathan ...
yes, you might be a *little* crazy, but then -- aren't we all?!
Nancy [redacted]
Webmaster
Hi Nancy,
I take medication, if that's what you mean.
Thanks for looking over my story and possibly including it in a future issue of UFO Magazine. It's been a tough row to hoe since then, believe you me. There's nothing I wouldn't do to have NOT seen that craft at the IHOP those many years ago. Why me? Of all the places to land, why there? Oh, it haunts me. It haunts me.
Jonathan S.
Dear Editor [redacted], It's taken me a long time to write this. I've been afraid to let the people I know personally, the public at large, about the occurrence. I don't know what else to call my experience with the space craft other than that - an occurrence. I was afraid simply because I didn't want my friends and family to think I was crazy. I'm not crazy. I know what happened. I know what I saw. I'm not crazy. Perhaps relating my story to the faithful readers of UFO Magazine will help in some way. I'm not crazy. That is what I'm hoping for anyway.
Attached you'll find a story I've written for UFO Magazine.
Thank you for your time and efforts and have a great day.
Sincerely (and perfectly not crazy),
Jonathan Shipley
UFO MAGAZINE SUBMISSION
By Jonathan Shipley
Date: 8/10/03. Time: 2:34 a.m. Place: Renton, Washington. Description of Events:
There I was, the night manager at the IHOP. The employees had all gone home. I was locking up and was walking to my Chevy Chevette in the empty parking lot when I looked up and saw, hovering right over the IHOP, a craft. I can’t describe it really but what I can say is this in way of description - It was oval-shaped. It was a dark colored metal. Perhaps it was dark colored simply because it was night time and everything was dark colored by the oval-shaped craft was particularly dark colored. A sound emanated from it. It sounded like: WAAAHHHGGGGG! That’s as close as I can spell it. Well, maybe WHHHHAAAGGNNNGG! It was deafening, the sound, and I clapped my ears over my head and looked at the craft and shouted “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”
Suddenly, without warning, a bright flash of light screamed out of the craft. It made a sound. ZZZZAANNGGG! Or, more closely, ZZZAAANNNGGGGHHH! The light, the brightest white I’ve ever seen, blinded me, so, more exactly, it was the brightest light I couldn’t see because it blinded me so much. “ARRGGGHHH!” I said, because I was blinded and the light hurt my eyes. “AAARRGGHHH!”
ZZZAANNNGGGHHHH! Another flash of light.
WHHHAAANNNGGGGHH! Another sound emanated from the craft.
ZZZAANNNGGHHHH! Another flash.
”AARRGGHHH!” I screamed.
WHHAAANNNGGGHHH!
ZZZZAAAANNGGGHHH!
”AAARRRGGGHHH!”
ZZZAAANNGGGHHH!!!
WHAANNZZZGGGHHH!
ZAANNNGGGHHHH!
It all happened so fast! When I came to I found myself lying in the parking lot holding a parrot. I don’t own a parrot and didn’t know where it came from. It eyed me and said “WHHAANNNGGGHHH!” And it scared me. “WHAANNGGGGHH!” It scared me so much, hearing that bird say that, I wet myself.
Nancy [redacted] ([redacted]@ufomag.com) wrote:
Thanks, Jonathan ...
yes, you might be a *little* crazy, but then -- aren't we all?!
Nancy [redacted]
Webmaster
Hi Nancy,
I take medication, if that's what you mean.
Thanks for looking over my story and possibly including it in a future issue of UFO Magazine. It's been a tough row to hoe since then, believe you me. There's nothing I wouldn't do to have NOT seen that craft at the IHOP those many years ago. Why me? Of all the places to land, why there? Oh, it haunts me. It haunts me.
Jonathan S.