5.15.06
Volume 2, Issue 15
Je suis un cheval!
The Reject
Bridle and Bit
By Jonathan Shipley
In this ongoing series, punishment-glutton Jonathan Shipley chronicles his attempts to be rejected by America's finest publications.
From: Jonathan Shipley jonshipleysemail@yahoo.com
To: bridleandbit@[REDACTED]
Subject: Bridle & Bit Magazine (Submission)
Hello,
I've been a professional horse trainer for thirteen years. There's nothing in my life I like more than an early morning out on the track as the sun rises, with just me and a horse. That's simply all I need, that peace, that connection I have with another animal. It's rewarding and I wouldn't trade my profession for anything.
That said, Bridle and Bit Magazine is a must read for me each and every issue. Your recent story "The Texas Cowgirls Coral Mother's Day By Bringing Out the Cowgirl in Mom" was well written and just plain fun to read.
Attached you'll find a story I've written that I hope you'll be able to print soon in a coming issue of Bridle & Bit Magazine. Let me know either way.
Thank you for your time, consideration, and efforts. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Jonathan Shipley
BRIDLE AND BIT MAGAZINE SUBMISSION, by Jonathan Shipley
Let me tell you about the time I played an old French horse in a theatrical production.
As you know, Jean-Baptiste Poquelin, better known as Moliere, lived from January 15, 1622 to February 17, 1673, and was one of the masters of French theatre, writing many classics in the comedy genre, including Tartuff, The Misanthrope, and, my personal favorite, L’Avare ou l’Ecole du Mensonge. He is one of the best playwrights who ever lived and my friend, Eduardo Calderon, Dr. Calderon to his students at Amherst College (he’s an English professor), wrote a play based on Moliere’s life and times. He is an amazing historical figure, Moliere is, and it was about time someone gave him his due, like so many have given Shakespeare and Marlowe theirs. The twist to the play, which Calderon titled Saucisses Savoureuses Sur Le Defile, a play in which I starred, is that the character of Poquelin (Moliere) is played by an old French horse.
Sounds odd, doesn’t it? Sounds funny, no? It’s both of these things, much like the works Moliere wrote! If you don’t believe me you haven’t read his La Jalousie du Barbouille or Le Medecin Maglre Lui! Let me give you some examples of scenes I play in, as an old French horse.
ACT I, SCENE III
Poquelin (me, as a horse) is now 18 and my father has passed on to me the title of Tapissier du Roi, and the associated office of valet de chamber, which brings me into contact with King Louis XIV. I eat a pile of hay near the royal throne and accidentally eat the king’s scepter as well. Crazy French horse!
ACT I, SCENE VII
Les Precieuses has won Poquelin (me, as a horse) the attention and criticism of many but it is not a popular success. I ask my Italian partner Tiberio Fiorelli, famous for his play Scaramouche, to teach me the techniques of Commedia dell’arte. I also prance a lot, wear blinkers, and winnie whenever someone says the word “withers.”
ACT II, SCENE II
After a world premiere performance of Le Tartuffe in Versailles, it has created a scandal for Poquelin (me, as a horse), the greatest scandal of my career. Its depiction of the hypocrisy of the dominant classes is taken as an outrage and is violently contested. To stanch the flow of outrage I run in the Kentucky Derby, coming in second. There are other dramatic scenes that I can’t go into here due to time and space constraints. Savoureuses Sur Le Defile is Calderon’s masterpiece, critics will agree. Take the death scene for instance. I die on stage while performing Le Malade Imaginaire. I’m then made into glue.
Bridleandbit@[REDACTED].com wrote:
Click Here: Check out "Bridle & Bit"
NOW!
READ THE ENTIRE PAPER ONLINE, PAGE BY PAGE, WORD FOR WORD.
CLICK ON THIS LINK, AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!
CLICK THE FLIPPING PAGES, DOWNLOAD THE SOFTWARE, AND READ THE ENTIRE PAPER LIKE IT IS THE REAL THING!
TRACY
Jonathan Shipley to Bridleandbit
HI TRACY!
THIS IS EXCITING! BUT I'M CONFUSED! I SENT YOU A STORY YESTERDAY IN HOPES OF GETTING IT INTO YOUR FINE PUBLICATION BUT YOU MAKE NO MENTION OF IT IN YOUR NOTE BELOW! THIS IS EXCITING! FLIPPING PAGES AND ALL! ARE YOU PLANNING ON RUNNING MY STORY?! LET ME KNOW EITHER WAY!
THANKS!
JONATHAN SHIPLEY
Bridleandbit@aol.com wrote:
THE FLIPPING PAGES IS FOR YOU TO SEE. I AM SURE THAT YOU STORY ALREADY APPEARS ON THE LONG "HEADLINES" SCROLL.
THE FLIPPING PAGES IS A COPY OF OUR ACTUAL PRINTED PAPER.
YOU WILL HAVE TO READ YOUR STORY ON THE FLIPPING PAGES AT THE TOP OF THE MONTH WHEN THE PAPER IS ACTUALLY GONE TO PRESS.
THANKS, TRACY
Jonathan Shipley to Bridleandbit
HI TRACY!
WOW! MY STORY ABOUT MY ROLE AS A FRENCH HORSE IN MY FRIEND'S PLAY ABOUT THE LIFE AND TIMES OF MOLIERE IS ALREADY IN BRIDLE AND BIT MAGAZINE?! REALLY! IN THE FLIPPING PAGES? I'LL BE SURE TO GIVE IT A LOOK! IN THE FLIPPING PAGES?! I KNOW THAT HORSE ENTHUSIASTS WILL ENJOY THE STORY OF ME AS AN OLD FRENCH HORSE BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY AND, COME TO THINK OF IT, DOWN RIGHT INSPIRING! IT'S NOT EVERY DAY THAT SOMEONE GETS TO STRETCH THEIR ACTING MUSCLES BY PLAYING AN OLD FRENCH HORSE IN A LIVE THEATRICAL BIOGRAPHY OF ONE OF THE GREATEST FRENCH PLAYWRIGHTS WHO HAS EVER LIVED! LONG LIVE JEAN-BAPTISTE POQUELIN! IN THE FLIPPING PAGES? OKAY, I'LL LOOK THERE. WHEN THE ACTUAL PRINT COPY COMES OUT, CAN I BE SENT A CONTRIBUTOR'S COPY? THAT'D BE AWESOME!
THANKS AGAIN, TRACY! HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!
JONATHAN SHIPLEY
From: Jonathan Shipley jonshipleysemail@yahoo.com To: bridleandbit@[REDACTED]
Subject: Bridle & Bit Magazine (Submission)
Hello,
I've been a professional horse trainer for thirteen years. There's nothing in my life I like more than an early morning out on the track as the sun rises, with just me and a horse. That's simply all I need, that peace, that connection I have with another animal. It's rewarding and I wouldn't trade my profession for anything.
That said, Bridle and Bit Magazine is a must read for me each and every issue. Your recent story "The Texas Cowgirls Coral Mother's Day By Bringing Out the Cowgirl in Mom" was well written and just plain fun to read.
Attached you'll find a story I've written that I hope you'll be able to print soon in a coming issue of Bridle & Bit Magazine. Let me know either way.
Thank you for your time, consideration, and efforts. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Jonathan Shipley
BRIDLE AND BIT MAGAZINE SUBMISSION, by Jonathan Shipley
Let me tell you about the time I played an old French horse in a theatrical production.
As you know, Jean-Baptiste Poquelin, better known as Moliere, lived from January 15, 1622 to February 17, 1673, and was one of the masters of French theatre, writing many classics in the comedy genre, including Tartuff, The Misanthrope, and, my personal favorite, L’Avare ou l’Ecole du Mensonge. He is one of the best playwrights who ever lived and my friend, Eduardo Calderon, Dr. Calderon to his students at Amherst College (he’s an English professor), wrote a play based on Moliere’s life and times. He is an amazing historical figure, Moliere is, and it was about time someone gave him his due, like so many have given Shakespeare and Marlowe theirs. The twist to the play, which Calderon titled Saucisses Savoureuses Sur Le Defile, a play in which I starred, is that the character of Poquelin (Moliere) is played by an old French horse.
Sounds odd, doesn’t it? Sounds funny, no? It’s both of these things, much like the works Moliere wrote! If you don’t believe me you haven’t read his La Jalousie du Barbouille or Le Medecin Maglre Lui! Let me give you some examples of scenes I play in, as an old French horse.
ACT I, SCENE III
Poquelin (me, as a horse) is now 18 and my father has passed on to me the title of Tapissier du Roi, and the associated office of valet de chamber, which brings me into contact with King Louis XIV. I eat a pile of hay near the royal throne and accidentally eat the king’s scepter as well. Crazy French horse!
ACT I, SCENE VII
Les Precieuses has won Poquelin (me, as a horse) the attention and criticism of many but it is not a popular success. I ask my Italian partner Tiberio Fiorelli, famous for his play Scaramouche, to teach me the techniques of Commedia dell’arte. I also prance a lot, wear blinkers, and winnie whenever someone says the word “withers.”
ACT II, SCENE II
After a world premiere performance of Le Tartuffe in Versailles, it has created a scandal for Poquelin (me, as a horse), the greatest scandal of my career. Its depiction of the hypocrisy of the dominant classes is taken as an outrage and is violently contested. To stanch the flow of outrage I run in the Kentucky Derby, coming in second. There are other dramatic scenes that I can’t go into here due to time and space constraints. Savoureuses Sur Le Defile is Calderon’s masterpiece, critics will agree. Take the death scene for instance. I die on stage while performing Le Malade Imaginaire. I’m then made into glue.
Bridleandbit@[REDACTED].com wrote:
Click Here: Check out "Bridle & Bit"
NOW!
READ THE ENTIRE PAPER ONLINE, PAGE BY PAGE, WORD FOR WORD.
CLICK ON THIS LINK, AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!
CLICK THE FLIPPING PAGES, DOWNLOAD THE SOFTWARE, AND READ THE ENTIRE PAPER LIKE IT IS THE REAL THING!
TRACY
Jonathan Shipley to Bridleandbit
HI TRACY!
THIS IS EXCITING! BUT I'M CONFUSED! I SENT YOU A STORY YESTERDAY IN HOPES OF GETTING IT INTO YOUR FINE PUBLICATION BUT YOU MAKE NO MENTION OF IT IN YOUR NOTE BELOW! THIS IS EXCITING! FLIPPING PAGES AND ALL! ARE YOU PLANNING ON RUNNING MY STORY?! LET ME KNOW EITHER WAY!
THANKS!
JONATHAN SHIPLEY
Bridleandbit@aol.com wrote:
THE FLIPPING PAGES IS FOR YOU TO SEE. I AM SURE THAT YOU STORY ALREADY APPEARS ON THE LONG "HEADLINES" SCROLL.
THE FLIPPING PAGES IS A COPY OF OUR ACTUAL PRINTED PAPER.
YOU WILL HAVE TO READ YOUR STORY ON THE FLIPPING PAGES AT THE TOP OF THE MONTH WHEN THE PAPER IS ACTUALLY GONE TO PRESS.
THANKS, TRACY
Jonathan Shipley to Bridleandbit
HI TRACY!
WOW! MY STORY ABOUT MY ROLE AS A FRENCH HORSE IN MY FRIEND'S PLAY ABOUT THE LIFE AND TIMES OF MOLIERE IS ALREADY IN BRIDLE AND BIT MAGAZINE?! REALLY! IN THE FLIPPING PAGES? I'LL BE SURE TO GIVE IT A LOOK! IN THE FLIPPING PAGES?! I KNOW THAT HORSE ENTHUSIASTS WILL ENJOY THE STORY OF ME AS AN OLD FRENCH HORSE BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY AND, COME TO THINK OF IT, DOWN RIGHT INSPIRING! IT'S NOT EVERY DAY THAT SOMEONE GETS TO STRETCH THEIR ACTING MUSCLES BY PLAYING AN OLD FRENCH HORSE IN A LIVE THEATRICAL BIOGRAPHY OF ONE OF THE GREATEST FRENCH PLAYWRIGHTS WHO HAS EVER LIVED! LONG LIVE JEAN-BAPTISTE POQUELIN! IN THE FLIPPING PAGES? OKAY, I'LL LOOK THERE. WHEN THE ACTUAL PRINT COPY COMES OUT, CAN I BE SENT A CONTRIBUTOR'S COPY? THAT'D BE AWESOME!
THANKS AGAIN, TRACY! HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!
JONATHAN SHIPLEY