american nerd survey

You receive an out-of-the-blue windfall of $20,000.  What do you do with it?

Geoff Herbach: With my $20,000, I will buy a linen suit and a small island off Mexico.  During the Gulf hurricane season, I will tether myself to a pole and scream at the angry sky, "Bring it on!"

Dave Indish: I wish I was cool enough to say I'd take the money and head to Vegas, but I'd probably just pay off my student loans and apply the rest to the principle on my mortgage. I know, lame.

Joel Jensen: The first 5000 goes to porn and cigs, and some gumballs for the kid, and the rest into student loans.

Stephen McClurg: Have myself a merry little hurricane season with all the luxuries my local hardware store can provide.

Keith Pille: You know, I figured that I'd say pay off debt and maybe make a down payment on a house so that I don't have to live in a chucklehead-ridden duplex underneath a flight path. But sitting here now, I think I'd put the money towards an operation on our gigantor cat to maybe correct her snoring problem, which really is louder and more disturbing than the 747s which land over our house.

I would, of course, also listen to Son Volt's "Windfall" upon getting the news.

Don Pizarro: I'd get some part-time wage-slave job just to keep the IRS off my back, squirrel the cheddar away, and slowly live off of it to fund my writing career.  I might indulge once in awhile in things like new electronics, expensive suits, and tacky jewelry.  And, for kicks, when my wife wonders where all the money's coming from, I'd say things like, "Hey, don' worry 'bout it."

Simon Riordan: Boring-old-man response or exciting-just-turned-30 response?
Conservatively: Pay down debt, pay off my folks, place a down payment on a house and maybe invest whatever's left over (oh wait, nothing).
Impulsively: Take all of my loved ones on an expense-paid trip to Montana and the Rocky Mountains. 

Damn, grown-ups really do suck.

Jonathan Shipley: Put up a shed in the backyard. A shed with electricity. This is where I will write a variety of poop stories.

Amethyst Vineyard: Get the Discover/Novus company to call off their assassins. Or, as they like to call them, 'customer service reps.'

Clint Weathers: Pay off my student loans.  And get a really great milkshake.