american nerd survey

Who is your favorite monarch (living, dead, or fictional)?

Geoff Herbach: Burger King, except when I stepped on a hypodermic needle in the play area. That caused me to celebrate the Virgin Queen for about six months until I got totally hungry for a Double Whopper with cheese. Queen Elizabeth rocks, total power house, but she can't help me get my burger on.

Dave Indish: I would have to say that Ivan the Terrible would be my favorite monarch. As the first ruler of Russia to take the title Tsar, he set quite a precedent. And let's not forget that he was crazy as hell-- that gives a despot a whole lot of cachet in my book. He was also a pretty stylish guy with his oversized hats, flowing robes, and enormous beard (cool stuff, all). On the downside, he's hard to talk about at family reunions because of the whole "murdering he own son" thing, but I think most of us are willing to overlook that. His replacement, Fyodor the Bell Ringer, couldn't hold a candle to old Ivan. Many historians will say it was because Fyodor was mentally retarded, as if that's some sort of excuse, but I think he was just scared.

Mark Kalar: William II, King of England, primarily because he went by Rufus the Red, which is awesome. Honorable mention to Guided by Voices, the self-described Kings of Indie Rock, R.I.P.

Stephen McClurg: King Buzzo.

Reed Miller: Abe Frohman, the Sausage King of Chicago.

Keith Pille: Richard III. The fictional one, not the real one; wikipedia claims that the real Richard III wasn't so bad and was the victim of a pro-Tudor hatchet job on Shakespeare's part. That's disappointing, because Shakespeare's Richard III is one bad child-imprisoning get-to-the-throne-on-a-road-of-bones motherfucker. My kind of guy.

Don Pizarro: Zeus, the King of the Gods of Olympus, who, like a certain ex-president, is renowned primarily for getting it on with hapless mortal women, much to the chagrin of his scheming (though publically faithful) shrew of a wife.

Simon Riordan: Elvis.

Jonathan Shipley: Empress Catherine the Great. She liked horses...a lot.