7.24.06
Volume 2, Issue 22
Oppenheimer? What a dick!
lists
Best Drunken Arguments I’ve Witnessed or Participated in

compiled by Keith Pille

1. Whether nuclear scientist J. Robert Oppenheimer was an asshole.

2. Whether I am bound for hell or not after I die.

3. Why we shouldn’t play “Kids With Guitars” with a country beat at the next show.

4. Whether gravity is transmitted by particle or is just a condition of space.

5. Whether my goddamned amp is too goddamned loud.

6. Whether communists and altruists are suckers.

7. If I deserve gourmet donuts for helping a friend move.

8. Whether Achtung Baby is the best fuckin album ever recorded, or at least was in 1994.

9. Whether Son Volt play for money or love of music.

10. Whether Erik Jensen or I know better how to mix rum punch.

11. Whether the night manager at Rainbow Foods in Uptown Minneapolis deserves to be reported to his superiors for some mysterious heinous act that a crazy woman in the store claimed to have seen him commit.

12. Whether my friend Chad and I should give a mysterious rogue calling himself only “Hustler Pete” a couple of bucks for bus fare so that he could get to a bar less than a block away.

13. Whether the Third Base Coach of the Toronto Blue Jays was capable of coaching a bunch of field mice out of a wet paper bag.

14. I didn’t actually see the epic drunken battle between two of my friends over who woke up earlier when camping, but by all accounts it was an earthshaker.

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